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英语幽默小故事10篇
在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小 故事 有哪些吗？下面我为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢!
英语幽默小故事1：Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
幽默故事翻译：中间战术
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
英语幽默小故事2：Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
幽默故事翻译：
在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要 出国 ，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。”
英语幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers
Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
幽默故事翻译：
军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”
比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”
英语幽默小故事4：Five Months Older
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
幽默故事翻译：五个月大
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”
英语幽默小故事5：West Point
My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."
One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."
幽默故事翻译：
父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的 橄榄球 赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”
一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”
英语幽默小故事6：Present for Girlfriend
At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked.
The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again."
幽默故事翻译：送给女友的礼物
在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。
那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。”
英语幽默小故事7：Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
幽默故事翻译：慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了 魔术 棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。
英语幽默小故事8：Wood Fire
One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened."
"Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?"
幽默故事翻译：森林之火
一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。”
“那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?”
英语幽默小故事9：Best Reward
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in."
幽默故事翻译：最好的奖赏
一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。
“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”
英语幽默小故事10：Napoleon Was ill
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
"He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well."
"No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!"
"Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
幽默故事翻译：拿破仑病了
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”
“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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简单简短的有趣英语小故事
1、简单英语小故事——老人和老猫
An old man has a cat. The cat is very old, too. He runs very quickly. And his teeth are bad. One evening, the old cat sees a little mouse. He catches it, but he can’t eat it because his teeth are not strong enough. The mouse runs away.
The old man is very angry. He beats his cat. He says: “You are a fool cat. I will punish you!” the cat is very sad. He thinks：“When I was young, I worked hard for you. Now you don’t like me because I’m too old to work. You should know you are old, too.”
一个年迈的老人养一只猫。这只猫也非常老了。她跑得很快，但是牙齿很糟糕。一天王还是那个，这只老猫看见一只小老鼠。它抓住了小老鼠，但是它却吃不了它，因为它的牙齿不够锋利了。这只小老鼠逃跑了。
老人很生气，他打了小猫，并且对它说：“你这只蠢猫！我要惩罚你！”猫非常伤心，它想：“在我还年轻的时候，我为你努力工作。现在你却因为我太老了不能工作而不喜欢我。你应该知道你也老了。”
2、英语小故事——驴子与蚱蜢
AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers chirping, was highly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, The dew. The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger.
驴子听见蚱蜢唱歌，被美妙动听的歌声所打动，自己也想能发出同样悦耳动听的声音，便 羡慕地问他们吃些什么，才能发出如此美妙的声音来。蚱蜢答道：“吃露水。”驴子便也只吃露水，没多久就饿死了。这个故事告诉人们不要企望非份之物。
3、英语小故事——三个好朋友
One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can’t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can’t help him. Luckily, an elephant comes along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant’s home. Then, three of them become good friends.
一天， 一只猴子在河边骑车。这时他看见树下有一只狮子，狮子向他跑来。他非常的害怕，掉进河里。他不会游泳，大叫起来。兔子听见了，跳进水里，但他却没有办法救猴子。幸运的是，一只大象过来了。大象非常强壮，救出了兔子和猴子。他们来到大象的家，在那里吃了一顿大餐。从此他们成了好朋友。
英语趣味故事小短文
Story 1: Trick of Stealing Watermelons
Ah Q still had the habit of stealing. In village Wee, the watermelons grown by the Zhang's were big and sweet which was known far and near. One night, Ah Q was very greedy to have some watermelon, so he invited Wang Hu to steal some. They crawled toward the watermelon field in the darkness. In the flickering candle light, they dimmly saw a watermelon keeper lying on a bamboo bed. They both were not so bold to go ahead, thus Ah Q grasped a small stone and threw it to the middle of the field. No response from the keeper, maybe he was in sleep. The two men crawled nearer. Meanwhile Ah Q touched something sticky, he put his hand to his nose, it smelt terrible. "Fuck it!", cursed Ah Q in mind. Just now Ah Q heard a light sound, it sounded like the bellows. "It is snore," Ah Q thought, a great joy came into mind. Ah Q dragged Wang Hu to the bamboo bed in stealth. It was really snore. Ah Q whispered a while to Wang Hu's ear. The two men moved smoothly and silently the bamboo bed together with the keeper to the brink of a pond nearby, especially with the shoe side of the bed facing the pond. After that they returned to the field, picked the biggest melons and filled two bags as if they were picking their own. Then they carried the bags away. About 200 or 300 meters away, Ah Q shouted to the field, "Someone stealing watermelons!" No sooner had the voice fallen than came a Pootone—the sound of something dropping into the water. Ah Q and Wang Hu giggled, going away without turning their heads.
故事之一：偷瓜妙计
阿Q依旧偷性不改。未庄张家的西瓜又大又甜，远近闻名。有天晚上，阿Q嘴馋，便约王胡一起摸黑爬到张家的西瓜地旁，摇曳的烛光中，隐约可见竹床躺着一位看瓜的伙计。二位不敢贸然行事，于是，阿Q先摸了一小块石子向瓜田中央扔去，看瓜的伙计没有反应，或许他睡着了。二人又向前爬了爬。阿Q的手突然摸着了一堆粘乎乎的东西，凑近鼻子一闻，酸臭酸臭，“妈妈的！”阿Q禁不住在心里骂道。这时隐约听见轻轻的象是拉风箱的声音。“对了，这是鼾声”，阿Q心想，不由一阵欣喜，拉着王胡朝竹床爬过去想探个究竟。的的确确是鼾声，阿Q对着王胡耳语一番。二人蹑手蹑脚地来到竹床边，轻轻地连人带竹床一起抬到离瓜地不远的水塘边，将竹床紧临水塘放好，并使放鞋的一边正对水塘。二人返回瓜地，放心大胆地如同在自家地里摘瓜一般，拣最大的摘了两大袋子，扛着袋子走了。走了约二三百米，阿Q回过头来大喊一声：“有人偷瓜罗！”随后听见远处扑通一声，阿Q和王胡呵呵直笑，便头也不回地去了。
But the teacher cried
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
可是老师哭了
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”
“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
英语趣味幽默小故事三则翻译
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来英语趣味幽默小故事三则，欢迎大家阅读!
英语趣味幽默小故事：高薪
A famous lawyer always lectured his office boy. He thought it was good for the boy although he didn't need it.
One day it happened that the lawyer heard his office boy asked by the one employed next door, "How much does he pay you?" His office boy replied, "I get two thousand dollars a year. He pay some ten dollars a week in cash and the rest in his legal1 advice."
一位著名的律师老是给他办公室的勤杂工讲课，认为这对他有好处，尽管他并不需要。
有一天，这位律师偶然听到隔壁邻居的勤杂工问他的勤杂工：“他给你多少薪金?”他的勤杂工回答说：“我的年薪是2000美元，他每周付给我10美元左右的现金，其余的都算做他给我上课的学费啦。”
英语趣味幽默小故事：突然涨价
A man took his son to have an aching tooth pulled by the dentist. When it had been drawn1, the man was asked to pay ten dollars for it.
"Ten dollars!" he exclaimed surprised and said to the dentist, "I know you only charge two dollars for pulling a tooth. Why do you raise the price at will(随意)?"
The dentist said, "Yes, but your son cried out so loud that four other patients were frightened away."
有个人带着他的儿子去找牙医给他拔掉一只痛牙。牙医把他的牙齿拔掉后，要这个人付10美元。
这个人惊讶得大叫道：“10美元!我知道你拔一只牙是只收2美元，为什么任意涨价呀?”
牙医说：“没错，可是你的儿子喊叫得那么凶，把另外四个病人都吓跑了嘛!”
英语趣味幽默小故事：心不在焉
A man was getting very absent-minded. One evening he went to visit a friend and chatted with him for about two hours. When he was going to leave, his friend asked, "How is your family?" The absent-minded man suddenly exclaimed. "Good heavens! I forget my wife is having a fit(大发脾气)."
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