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让人目瞪口呆的英语笑话有哪些
让人目瞪口呆的英语笑话大全
@纪西西Baby：第一次出国住酒店要续住，得说一个“我想再住三天”，我就冲上去说I want to live for three more days.前台美女说 ah, you'd like to stay for three more nights, right? 我从此就学会了不是live是stay不是days是nights，老有人问英语怎么学?就这样一点点学。
【我真的～还想～再活～三两天!!】
live for three more days是再活三天的意思。
@五道口奥萨玛: 和朋友去迈阿密玩，朋友跳下车就冲到人家店里问 Can I borrow your toilet? 店主一头雾水反问：what are you going to do with my toilet?
【艹马桶狂魔】
Can I borrow your toilet?意为：我能借走你家的马桶吗?
要借用厕所的话，说Can I use your bathroom?就行了。当然，有语法洁癖的会用May I。
不过无论Can I还是May I，toilet在美式英语中都不是厕所，而是马桶。
@JEFFFF_C： 有次住家问我在哪我说I m in the toilet...住家问迷茫的回了我what re u doing in the toilet? Swim?
【猜火车】
其实想说的是in the bathroom。in the toilet就是进马桶了。
toilet其实就是坐便。而我国常见的蹲便叫squat toilet。曾有一位美国朋友跟我诉苦，刚来中国时用不惯squat toilet，憋了好几天…
@谷大白话: 大学时，学生会为迎接来访的外国教授打出横幅“Professor Cooper, you are welcome!!!”
【膝盖粉碎的教授】
You are welcome是不用谢。欢迎到我校访问该说Welcome to our school!
许多人问这教授是不是叫Sheldon...
@肉肉lin：上课走神被老师叫起来回答问题，喷出一句：what's your problem?
【来自东北的你】
What's your problem?是说：你丫啥毛病?你丫想咋地?
下一个镜头就是抄起板砖海扁老师了。
此处该说Sorry. What's / What was the question? 或简单朴实的Come again?
礼貌点可以说Pardon. / I beg your pardon. / I didn't quite follow you / understand you / catch what you just said. Would you be kind enough to repeat the question, xoxomemeda?
@Auxpow：以前有朋友刚到美国的时候，在麦当劳要吸管，说成 I want a sucker!
【麻烦给我来一杯傻比】
sucker是傻比，容易上当的二货意思。
如I can't believe those suckers really buy that shit! 没想到那群傻比连这当都能上!
也可以作为一种口头禅，类似北方方言的这逼那逼。就是指某人，没啥实际意义。
如Get that sucker over here! 把那逼给我找过来!
或者指某物，相当于“这逼玩意”。
比如布什总统2008年访问某工厂时，站在他们生产的除草机上说了句「Crank this sucker up. 」把这逼玩意开起来。
@青蛇尾巴噼里啪：听说过进诊所说，I'm on fire
【我滴热情～好像一把火～】
想说滴是发烧吧，I have a fever. I'm burning up.
对于不会翘舌音的朋友来说就是 I'm so horny.
on fire要么就是真的着火了，要么就是说你像火一样激动兴奋，状态高涨，势不可挡。
比如打篮球时人品爆发，两分三分各种进球，过人上篮各种无敌。
大家就可以说Dude, you're on fire!
@快宣太医皇上羊水破了：最开始我在穿衣服我就说I'm wearing clothes住家妈妈说do you mean you're changing up?我才会说的
【国王的新衣】
-- I'm wearing clothes!
-- Indeed. Aren't we all?
wear表示的是穿着。穿的过程是put on/ get dressed。换衣服是change。
所以各种颁奖礼走红毯时主持人问明星Who are you wearing?不是说你正在穿谁，而是问你穿的是谁家的衣服。
wear也可以是擦化妆品，擦香水的意思。比如梦露那句经典的I wear nothing but a few drops of Chanel No. 5 in bed.
@小呆鹿：在NZ时不会说手机充值，弱弱的.问店员I want to put money into this cellphone
@nk_usually:是呢，想起第一次买手机充值卡，特别笨拙地跟店员说想 refuel money to my phone, 人家说 oh you mean top-up your mobile。
【充多少?充满!】
给手机充值可以说top up, refill, add minutes, add credit
@Fishlee919：听到过一个好笑(三俗歧义)的，坐出租车快到边说 Can you get me off here? 司机瞬间傻眼。
【弄出来!】
get off的三俗意思是使人高潮。
举个彪马叔吐槽Kim Kardashian的例子：
彪马说Kardashian她爹当年为OJ辛普森辩护是Starting the Kardashian tradition of getting black men off! (开创了他们家帮黑人“弄出来”的传统)。这里的get off是双关。一个是说让辛普森逍遥法外get him off the hook;另一个就是Kardashian专搞黑人get them off。
@marshmallow_orion：跟同学上课前闲聊，她来了句oh i like your boots我好慌张又好羞涩的说，oh thanks...they are natural...擦，我以为她说我喜欢你的boobs
【literally】
还记得我之前推送中提到的literally使用问题吗?
@阿球阿球笑一笑：说到这个。第一次在外面想吃牛排，扯着脖子跟人家要beef,beef…结果上来一大盘不加盐的水煮牛肉片子，后来仔细看菜谱才知道应该叫steak的。
【金粒门】
我也遇过把“给我来点汤”(soup)说成“给我来点肥皂”(soap)的。基!情!四!射!啊!
最令人发指的餐馆奇遇是一个哥们想说“给我拿菜单来”(Give me the menu)。结果犯了中式英语乱加儿化音和乱读重音两大错误，活生生把menu说成了manure(给我拿米田共来)……
因为英语翻译错误闹出笑话
1.相传李鸿章有个远房亲戚,不学无术,大比之年,他去参加乡试,试卷到手,一个字也答不出来,急中生智,忙在考卷中写上自己是李鸿章的亲戚。无奈“戚”字不会写,。写成了“我乃中堂大人之亲妻”。主考官看过后在旁批道“所以我不敢取(娶)...
2.一位没文化的女青年，给家里写信： 亲爱的爸爸妈妈，你们请放心，我已经和贫下中农打成一片了。
现在，每天晚上我都和一位老大狼（娘）睡一个坑（炕），我的肚子（胆子）也越来越大了......弟弟回信：
姐姐，告诉你一个好消息，咱妈上吊（调）了......其他你不用担心。
3.学生的作文里写道：“我正走在路上，突然路面出现了一堆牛粪，我大吃一斤（惊）。”老师阅后批道：“海量，海量。”
关于英语语法有哪些小笑话短句
英语语法的小笑话？下面不知道算不算呢？仅供参考哦：
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I‘d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
一则没看懂的英语笑话怎么说
首先必须指出，这个笑话还是带有相当的种族歧视成分的。笑话是讽刺黑人的英语不好，因为过去黑人的教育程度较低，在语言使用上会出现许多不合规范语法的地方，例如上面的I is that I is，以及像I don't have no money. 之类的“双重否定”。上面那个白人牧师的意思是，上帝没有犯这样的语法错误，所以上帝是白人。
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