本文目录
英语语法错误引起的笑话
关于英语语法的笑话
笑话指引人发笑的话题。我整理的关于英语语法的笑话,喜欢的赶紧来看下吧!
律师、宝马和胳膊
一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。
“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”
律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
狗住旅店
一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”
旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单, 餐具,或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它,狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆,如果它为您担保,也欢迎您来。
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
顾客和服务员之间的对话
顾客:小心,你的大拇指在我汤里了!
服务员:别担心,先生,不是很烫!
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排,大拇指在牛肉上。
“你疯了吗?”顾客喊到,“你的手在我的牛排上!”
“什么?”服务员说,“你想让它再掉地上?”
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"
服务员:茶或咖啡?先生。
第一个顾客:我要茶
第二个顾客:我也是茶——杯子要干净的!
服务员:两杯茶,哪个要干净的杯子?
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"
创新句子:我坚持用干净杯子喝茶。
服务员,这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么?
看起来象是在仰泳,先生……
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...
服务员,汤里有只苍蝇!
别担心,先生,面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.
服务员,我汤里有只苍蝇!
不是,先生,那是蟑螂,苍蝇在你牛排里。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.
服务员,汤里有只苍蝇!
别让别人看见,先生,要不别人都要。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Keep it down sir, or they'll all be wanting one.
服务员,汤里有只苍蝇!
我知道,先生,我们没有另收钱。
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
服务员,汤里有只苍蝇!
对不起,先生,我弄走那三个时忘了这个。
Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.
服务员,汤里有只死苍蝇!
是的,先生,是开水杀死了它们。
Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.
服务员,汤里有只死苍蝇!
1美元你想要什么——活的?
aiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
What do you expect for $1 - a live one?
服务员,汤里有只蜜蜂!
是的,先生,今天苍蝇放假。
Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.
Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.
服务员,来杯咖啡,不加奶油。
对不起,先生,奶油没了,不加奶怎么样?
Waiter, I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.
I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?
Waiter, this coffee tastes like dirt!
Yes sir, thats because it was only ground this morning.
Ground:研磨;地面
服务员,你的领带在我的汤里了。
没关系,先生,它不缩水。
Waiter, your tie is in my soup!
That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?
约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I‘d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的.耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。
;因为英语不好闹出的笑话
1 too和two
有一天小明不小心走路撞到一个外国人,他不好意思的说:「I am sorry.」
「I am sorry,too.」外国人回答。
「I am sorry three.」小明马上回道。
「What are you sorry for?」外国人问。
「I am sorry five…」小明说。
2 关于模糊音
.一家陕西人在纽约唐人街开了家餐馆,儿子当服务生,老妈管收钱,老爸做大厨。
某一天,店里来了个老外,点了个套餐,吃到一半, " 咣当 " ,把汤碗打了。
儿子跑过去看了一下,说: " 碗打了! "
老外想: " one dollar,... ..."
老妈听见声音,也过来看,见地上有个破碗,问: " 谁打的? "
老外想: " three dollar?... ..."
儿子说: " 他打的! "
老外想: " ten dollar?! ... ..."
老妈又说: " 还得打一碗! "
老外想: " hundred and one?!?! ... ..."
老爸正在厨房切菜,听见外面的声音,赶忙跑出来看怎么回事。忙乱中,忘了把菜刀放下。
五大三粗的老爸,手持菜刀站在餐厅里,老外一看,心跳加速,血压急升,但更让他心碎加崩溃的是老爸的一番话。
老爸对着正在加热炉上舀汤的儿子说: " 烫,少盛点儿! "
老外: " ten thousand?!!
3 关于名字的谐音
SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.
(场景) 椭圆形办公室, 乔治布什 和国家安全顾问康多里扎赖斯
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
布什: 康迪(赖斯)! 很高兴见到你,发生什么事情了?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
赖斯:长官,我来向你汇报中国的新领导人
George: Great. Let’s hear it.
布什: 好极了,我们一起来听听!
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
赖斯:胡(谁)是中国的新领导人
George: That’s what I want to know.
布什:这就是我要知道的
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.
赖斯:这就是我要告诉你的
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of
China?
布什:这就是我要问你的,谁(胡)是中国的新领导人?
Condi: Yes.
赖斯:是的
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
布什:我是说那个人的名字
Condi: Hu.
赖斯:胡(谁)
George: The guy in China.
布什: 那个在中国的人
Condi: Hu.
赖斯:胡(谁)
George: The new leader of China.
布什:中国的新领导人!
Condi: Hu.
赖斯:胡(谁)
George: The Chinese!
布什:那个中国人!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
赖斯:胡(谁)领导中国
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
布什:啊?现在是你问我了?
Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
赖斯: 我在告诉你, 胡(谁)在领导中国
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
布什:我在问你,谁(胡)在领导中国?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
赖斯:就是那人的名字
George: That’s whose name?
布什:就是谁(胡)的名字?
Condi: Yes.
赖斯:是的
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader
of China?
布什:你到底愿不愿意告诉我谁(胡)是中国的领导人?
Condi: Yes sir.
赖斯:是的,长官(亚瑟尔)
George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.
布什:亚瑟尔?你是说阿拉法特在中国?我以为他在中东呢
Condi: That’s correct.
赖斯:没错
George: Then who is in China?
布什:那么谁(胡)在中国?
Condi: Yes, sir.
赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔)
George: Yassir is in China?
布什:亚瑟尔在中国??
Condi: No, sir.
赖斯:不,长官
George: Then who is?
布什:那么谁(胡)在?
Condi: Yes, sir.
赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔)
George: Yassir?
布什:亚瑟尔?
Condi: No, sir
赖斯:不,长官.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get m e the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet
he knows.
布什:听着,赖斯.我要知道中国新领导人的名字,给我接联合国秘书长.我
觉得他会知道
Condi: Kofi?
赖斯:科费(咖啡)?
George: No, thanks.
布什:不,谢谢
Condi: You want Kofi?
赖斯:你要科费(咖啡)?
George: No.
布什:不!!
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
赖斯:那么你不要科费(咖啡)
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of
milk. And then get me the U.N.
布什:不,但是既然你提到它,我要杯牛奶就可以了,然后给我接联合国
Condi: Yes, sir.
赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔)
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
布什:不是亚瑟尔!是联合国的头!
Condi: Kofi?
赖斯:科费(咖啡)?
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
布什:不,牛奶!你给我接通电话好不?
Condi: Call who?
赖斯:给谁打?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
布什:谁(胡)是联合国的头?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
赖斯:胡(谁)是中国的头
George: Will you stay out of China?!
布什:你能不能不提中国了?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
赖斯:是的长官(亚瑟尔)
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N!
布什:也别提中东了!给我接通联合国的头就好了!
Condi: Kofi?
赖斯:科费(咖啡)?
George: All right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
布什:好啦好啦!那就少加点糖吧!给我接电话
(Condi picks up the phone.)
(赖斯拿起电话)
Condi: Rice here
赖斯:赖斯在这(这有米饭)
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too
布什:米饭?好主意。在来两个蛋卷。
5.有一天小明不小心走路撞到一个外国人,他不好意思的说:「I am sorry.」
「I am sorry,too.」外国人回答。
「I am sorry three.」小明马上回道。
「What are you sorry for?」外国人问。
「I am sorry five…」小明说。
英语语法错误引起的笑话
aback attempts to box-haul his ship.
一则没看懂的英语笑话怎么说
首先必须指出,这个笑话还是带有相当的种族歧视成分的。笑话是讽刺黑人的英语不好,因为过去黑人的教育程度较低,在语言使用上会出现许多不合规范语法的地方,例如上面的I is that I is,以及像I don't have no money. 之类的“双重否定”。上面那个白人牧师的意思是,上帝没有犯这样的语法错误,所以上帝是白人。
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