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英语小笑话带翻译简短七年级
笑话作为广大人民群众喜闻乐见的文学样式,自诞生之日起就凭借其辛辣独到的讽刺手法,夸张变形的艺术构思以及背反逻辑的情节设想等语体特点而得到作家青睐。我精心收集了简短英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
简短英语小笑话带翻译篇1
财政学的一课
Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. Thefirst bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000. "That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?"
史密斯是一家建设公司的经理，他正负责一个新工程的招标案。第一位投标的是一家波兰公司，他们的代表出价四十万元接那个案子。“似乎很合理，”史密斯说。“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?”
"Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "
“当然没问题，”波兰公司代表说道，“二十万元工资，二十万元材科费。”
Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000.
下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司，他们以八十万元竞标。
"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?"
“嗯，这个价钱似乎有些偏高，”史密斯说道。"你们有明细表吗?"
" $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. "
“四十万元材料，四十万元工资。”
"I'll get back to you. "
“我以后再同你联系。”
Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."
最后可翰•高斯坦•雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。“一百二十万元是我们竞标的价码，”代表说道。
$11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?"
“一百二十万元这个标高得太过分了，”史密斯叫道“你可以给我一张明细表吗?"
"No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400，000 for thePolacks.
“没有问题，”代表回答道。“四十万元给我，四十万元给你，最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。”
简短英语小笑话带翻译篇2
黑人英语
The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩，而鲁拉·梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。
On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.
手术的早晨，她惊讶地看见她老公穿着礼服，乘坐一辆礼车到不远的医院去。
"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.
"亲爱的，这是怎么一回事啊?鲁拉·梅问道。"
"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.
"宝贝，如果你想当名大人物的话，就要让人一看就知道你很重要!"
简短英语小笑话带翻译篇3
向你的烦恼说再见
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "
那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名犹太人正确地拼出God后，被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "
“当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!”
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英语简单笑话 有翻译
下面是我整理的英语简单笑话短文，希望大家会喜欢!
英语简单笑话短文：All Except the Music除了音乐
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”
“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐 其它 都很好。”
英语简单笑话短文：I don't think I know-我不知道啊
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"‘
老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。约翰：“我想我不知道”。
英语简单笑话短文：迟到的原因The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
老 师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。
英语简单笑话短文：人们什么时候说话最少?When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
英语简单笑话短文："孩子"的复数形式
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆：男人们。老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?汤姆：双胞胎。
英语简单笑话短文：除了音乐All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?""Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”
英语简单笑话短文：迟到
My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
英语简单笑话短文：天气怎么样
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。老师：错了。马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
英语简单笑话短文：Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
英语简单笑话短文：狗也知道这个 谚语 吗?
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”
知道"Family"这个单词的含义吗?
知道"Family"这个单词的含义吗? 爸 F ather和 A nd妈 M other我 I爱 L ove你 Y ou爸妈我爱你=家庭。
Englishi搞笑读法
小时侯上学，把“English” 读为“应给利息”的同学当了银行行长;读为“阴沟里洗”的成了菜贩子;读为“因果联系”的成了哲学家;读为“硬改历史”的成了政治家; 读为“英国里去”的成了海外华侨;而我，不小心读成了“应该累死”结果成了打工的!
英语小笑话很短的小学生
笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。我整理了很短的英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
很短的英语小笑话篇一
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
很短的英语小笑话篇二
Jim’s History Examination
Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?
Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him
things that happened before the poor boy was born.
吉姆的历史考试
舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?
母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。
很短的英语小笑话篇三
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
很短的英语小笑话篇四
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
爆笑英语小笑话
1.Is it a boy or a girl
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
翻译：是男孩还是女孩？
A:看看那个留短发和蓝色牛仔裤的年轻人。是男孩还是女孩？
B：是个女孩。她是我的女儿。
A:哦，对不起，先生。我不知道你是她的父亲。
B：我不是。我是她的妈妈。
2.Pretty ugly
Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
Peter: I think you're pretty ugly..
翻译：非常丑陋的
玛丽：约翰说我很漂亮。安迪说我很丑。你觉得怎么样，彼得？
彼得：我觉得你很丑。
3.Silent fart
A man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem.
"Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?"
The doctor replies:
"The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing."
翻译：沉默的屁：沉默的屁
一个人走进医生的办公室，遇到了一个严重的问题。
“医生，我在无声气体排放方面有问题。在家里，工作，甚至在教堂，我放出无数的无声屁，无论我走到哪里！事实上，我坐在这里和你谈过三次。我们该怎么办？”
医生回答说：
“我们要做的第一件事就是检查你的听力。”
3.Pay tax with a smile
A: I hate paying my income tax.
B: You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?
A: I'd like to but they insist on money!
翻译：A:我讨厌付所得税。
B：你应该是个好公民——你为什么不微笑着付钱呢？
A:我很愿意，但是他们坚持要钱！
4.Take his place
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."
Replied the governor, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."
翻译：代替他：取代他的位置
午夜过后，一位律师打电话给州长，坚持要他跟他谈一件非常紧急的事情。一个助手最终同意唤醒州长。
“那么，这是什么呢？”州长抱怨道。
“Garber法官刚刚去世，”律师说，“我想接替他的位置。”
州长回答说：“好吧，如果殡仪馆还好的话，我就可以了。”
5.I'm Sick
One day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital.
Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you.
Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him. I'm sick.
翻译：我生病了
一天，哈米德感到很不舒服，他去了医院。
护士：哈米德，医生来见你。
哈米德：告诉他，我看不见他。我病了。
向姑姑道歉
爸爸：“儿子，你怎么称呼你的阿姨傻？”去跟她说声对不起。”
儿子：（走到姨妈跟前）“阿姨，对不起你是个笨蛋。”
6.Say sorry to aunt
Dad: "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her."
Son: (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid."
6.Undying love
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes, dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.
翻译：永恒的爱：永恒的爱
女孩：你爱我吗？
男孩：是的，亲爱的。
女孩：你愿意为我而死吗？
男孩：不，我的爱是永恒的
扩展资料：
look at看; 审视; 评判; 接受
young person(14-17岁的)未成年人; 少年
short hair短头发
blue jeans蓝色斜纹布裤子，牛仔裤
do you你愿意吗
fart<讳>放屁; 讨厌的人; 令人厌烦的人; 蠢人
walks步态( walk的名词复数 ); 人行道; 步行的路径; 走，步行，散步( walk的第三人称单数 ); 出现; 陪伴…走; 徒步旅行
'vehave 的缩略形式
At home在家; 在国内; 在家接待客人; 精通
and even乃至
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